In the last few weeks I've noticed an uptick of comments and messages from our growing self-care community indicating some of us want to develop better habits and/or commit to a self-care regimen but don't know how that looks or fits into their lifestyle. I hear you sis, and I know exactly where you are coming from.
Though self-care may be an "easy" thing to do, say like taking a five minute walk around the block or slipping in some time to journal before bed, it isn't always simple if you don't where these actions fit into your lifestyle, how you can perform them or even why you want to do them in the first place. Building a regimen felt forced for me initially because I wanted to do what everyone else was doing since it looked right. That was a big NOPE after discovering that married folks, folks that are younger, folks that are retired, folks that work a different type of job, and folks that don't have children had self-care habits that worked for them but didn't pan out well for me. Oh, the struggle of it all.
If you don't have your own personal where's, why's, who's, how's and what's locked in you will end up being sporadic with your routine and then turn around and be mad at yourself because you didn't stick to it. Sound familiar? Keep in mind that many of us weren't taught to prioritize our needs or why doing so is important. This leaves us constantly starting and stopping our self-care routines or not giving them much thought. If you don't know, why would you beat yourself up over that?
Alright! Are you down to lay some groundwork so that you can create a regimen that works for you? Great! Let's do it by taking things step-by-step (oooh baby, gonna get to your giiiirl #newkidsontheblock).
First up, the big WHAT!
What is happening in your life that causes you to take or at least consider taking action?
It could be a simple act such as sneezing, prompting you to carry tissues in your purse. Or finding out that your boss wants to discuss last quarters number prompting you to call in sick because you know he's going to write you up. There is an action, pain, desire, thought or feeling involved that spurs you to resolve it, even if only temporarily, one way or another.
Next up, super WHY!
Why are you wanting to focus more on self-care and prioritizing yourself?
If your stomach growls, why does it do that? Because you either missed a meal or have gas (LOL!! Sorry, girl). Knowing the answer then helps determine what your next step is. You either grab lunch or go get some Gas-X ( I am cracking up as I type this). If your two month old wakes up from a nap and begins to fuss, why is she doing that? Either her diaper is wet, she is hungry or she needs reassurance that you are nearby. If your car starts sputtering while you are on the 91 Freeway then slows to a stop, why does it happen? Well sis, you either forgot to put gas in the tank (again, smh) or something under the hood is jacked up.
As you can see from the above scenarios, knowing your WHAT's and WHY's help set the course for the actions you will take next, the people and places involved as well as the timing of when those things are done.
Up next, let's talk about the WHERE, HOW and WHO. Check back soon for Part 2!
If you find this information helpful be sure to leave a comment below. I read every single comment posted though I'm unable to reply due to the platform that I use for blogging. Also, don't forget to visit our self-care swag shop and pick up a beautiful brown girl tee! Click HERE
Thanks for prioritizing yourself,