30 Days of Self-Care: Day 3 - Find a Therapist


Why is finding a trusted therapist so challenging?  Cost prohibitiveness aside (and that's a whole nother topic), I've been trying to slide my buns onto someones couch or chair for a few months now and it's not been the easiest task.  Either my insurance isn't accepted, my hours are off from theirs, they are completely booked or they don't return phone calls. 

I'd been saying for a few months that I wanted to pick back up with therapy and this seems like a great time to start looking again.  Today I said I'd take some time and try to find a therapist to help me work through some issues.  The past few years I've experienced a violent death in the family, a hard breakup, work issues, depression, a surgery and plus I'm single parenting, dealing with family issues, a friend was recently diagnosed with something, etc, etc. 

In other words, I'm alive.  My life may look a little differently than yours but we are all dealing with stuff.  As long as we are on this earth there will always be "stuff" and it's up to us to decide if we will grow from it or let it hold us back.  I want to thrive, not just survive and I believe that therapy can help me work through things so that I can do just that.

So one great resource that you may not be aware of is Therapy for Black Girls.  Therapy for Black Girls is a website founded by Dr. Joy, a licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia who hones in on mental health and personal development for black women.  She has a directory on her site that can help you locate a licensed professional in your area.  Click here to check it out!  

I took some time on the site and located 5 professionals in my area that I felt I might mesh with.  My process was to read bios and also look at their pictures to see if I felt something that would connect me enough to say "yes, give her a call!".  I then wrote down their info and will be calling them by the end of next week. Here are a few questions I'll be asking:

  • Do you take ______ insurance?
  • What is generally your availability?
  • Have you worked with people dealing with _________?  What are some ways you treated them?
  • Will there be homework?

It may take a bit of effort to find a therapist you feel great about. This means you may end up scheduling several appointments with different therapists until you find your person.  You'll usually know right off the bat if she is your person (or not) after your initial appointment.  For me, as soon as I walked out the front door of past sessions I could tell if I either felt them or I didn't.  Sometimes I knew midway through the first session.

Signs it may be time to keep looking could be that you didn't feel heard, the therapist was too meek (when you wanted someone more direct), too abrupt (when you wanted someone a bit milder) or perhaps they just seemed too stuffy and fake when you wanted someone relaxed and down to earth.  It all boils down to what you want and what is going to make you comfortable enough to open up AND keep your appointments.

Alright, so let's go ahead and rate it:

  • Cost - FREE (to search)
  • Time - About 1/2 and hour or so

See you tomorrow for Day 4.  By the way, have you joined the Facebook Private Group?  We are a drama free group of grown women discussing our health and wellness goals with zero judgment or guilt.  Check it out!


1 comment


  • Risa Smith

    I’m loving your blog! This particular post I’m sure so many are able to relate to & I think it’s great you even want to seek therapy & defy the stigma that is attached in our community.
    Blessings!
    www.realtalkidentity.com


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